Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Q: This isn’t a question.

I just want to warn others.  My wife and I are dealing with my dad’s house, trying to get it ready to sell.  He died a few weeks ago and now we have the job of sorting through his stuff and trying to get rid of things. I can’t believe all the junk he accumulated. Even though we have an estate dealer taking the big stuff that’s sellable, we’re left with tons of useless things that no one wants.  Please, encourage people to get rid of their junk while they are still living. I loved my dad, but this is so stressful.

A:  I’ve had several people come in recently to talk about getting their parents home ready to sell.  The parents have passed away or are in an assisted living situation.  Every one of these adult children appeared stressed, confused and totally overwhelmed with the burden of dealing with their parent’s stuff.

There’s much talk these days about downsizing. Unfortunately, very few people really do this with their belongings. They may move into a smaller home or condo, but they often bring a lot of stuff that gets packed into the garage or a storage unit. We always think that there’ll be a time when we want to go back over old letters, photos, school yearbooks, etc. But I think it rarely happens. Many people keep family “heirlooms” for their children or grandchildren but most young people today don’t want the family china, grandad’s rocking chair or old photos. Not to mention dead cars, broken appliances or useless collectables.

It’s important to have a frank conversation with your elderly parents about what you may want to have after they die.  It’s equally important for your parents to understand that someday you’ll be stuck sorting through those boxes and shelves of stuff in their garage. It’s a painful conversation but if parents are willing to be realistic and understand the burden they are leaving for their children, it can save everyone so much stress and anxiety. Plus it will give you the time to simply grieve your loss.

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